Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
