Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
