dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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