8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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