Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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