so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
