we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
