Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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