so explain again why im purple
no
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
