I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
