Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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