I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize