whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
