got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
