So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
