Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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