he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You took a bar mat shot.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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