she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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