How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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