What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
