A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
