i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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