I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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