Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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