quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
how drunk are you?
Several
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
