There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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