oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Drunk walkin through police station. America
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
