i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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