i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
