You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
