Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This baby is an asshole
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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