Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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