Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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