Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize