roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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