Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
