I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize