# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
