Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
