fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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