glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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