I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
