Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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