The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize