i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize