Already got asked if we're dating
i will never coherently bang her
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
