Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
