Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
