Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
