I wanna passion pit in your ass
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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