You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
they need to just BURY HIM!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
