doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
