i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
