Betty ford says i'm here all night
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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