Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
