I have demons in me.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
