His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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