Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
