you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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