then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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