how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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