capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize