I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
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