does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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