and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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