If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
