her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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