careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
