Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize