just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
